It's a question every couple must face at the start of their planning: are you inviting children to your wedding? It can be a really hard decision facing the risk of really upsetting friends and family. But, you have to do what is right for your wedding, taking into account everything from budget to venue capacity to family expectations.

Here are some answers to some of the kind of questions that come up about children at weddings - plus the questions you need to ask yourself as you make your final decision on what you want for your day.

Are you prepared to ruffle some feathers and limit the adult guests who can attend, do you really want a wedding without your own children at the alter? Or are you ok with the odd toddler tantrum from kids during your ceremony? These are all things to consider.

Pro’s and con’s: 

Downsides:

Venue - Some venues won’t allow children in them and others have a limited capacity. 

Destination weddings - Guests may not want to take their kids to a weekend away abroad and risk disrupting other peoples holidays. 

Guest enjoyment - Some guests may want to have a drink and a dance at the wedding but that can be difficult if nappies need changing, kids are cranky or need to get home to bed. 

Unpredictability - if you like order you may prefer to have your own children only for your day. If you want a refined atmosphere, it makes sense to have it adults-only.

Budget - child’s meals are usually cheaper however they can still raise the price or your wedding.

Upsides:

Atmosphere - We may not realise it but weddings aren’t meant for Pinterest they are real life. Kids are a huge part of laugher and love. And usually a massive part of all those fab chaotic photos that you’ll cherish forever. 

The wedding party - It can be a lovely memory to share with your close family or friends to have their or your own children in the wedding party.

Guests expenses - Paying to come to your wedding and then for someone to look after their children can be an expense some guests simply can’t afford. It might mean they can’t come if the kids can’t come too. Which could be devastating.

Memories - Having children at your wedding creates special memories for them as well as you. It gives them chance to be part of the event and if at the right age, they’ll be able to reminisce about your big day with you for years to come.

So if you choose to make it an adult-only invite, make this very clear on your invitation. This allows people to start making arrangements for childcare straight away. If a guest is upset then explain that it’s you and your partner’s decision and you’re sorry that they are upset, but you hope they’ll accept your choice.

Be prepared that if you choose not to invite children, some guests will not be able to come. Whether it’s because the child is too young to be left at home or the cost of childcare is prohibitive, some people that you would like to be there – even close family – may not be able to.

It may upset you but you must accept their decision and not make them feel guilty. If you desperately want a certain person to come, you may need to review your adults-only invite!

Hope this helps!

Lucy x